While friends, family, and neighbors often notice when things aren't going well in a relationship, it's often difficult for outsiders to assess when an argument turns violent.
In addition, women affected by violence often don't want others to know about violence in their relationship. Therefore, they sometimes react defensively when attentive people in their social circles point it out.
Social isolation promotes intimate partner violence. Neighbors, friends, and relatives can support those affected in seeking help and escaping violence.
- Address: Speak to the woman in a calm setting. Express your concerns about her and her children. Offer your support.
- Don’t be discouraged: Even if your question or offer is rejected, the woman has heard your willingness to support her and may return to you later. Simply offering support and clearly condemning the violence are important, empowering signals for those affected.
- Believe: If the woman tells you about violence, do not doubt her account; believe her.
- Don’t act over your head: Consider together what sensible next steps are. Don't act without her knowledge or consent, unless it's an acute violent situation.
- Show possible sources of help: Point out options for help and protection, e.g. Helpline “Violence against Women”, nearby counseling centers, or the local women's shelter. Ask what support the affected woman needs right now.
- Call the police in case of violence: If you suspect you are witnessing or hearing acute violence, do not hesitate to call the police on the emergency number 110. It's better to call one too many than one too few.
- Interrupt: Are you unsure whether you're witnessing violence or just a loud argument in your neighborhood? For example, ring the doorbell and ask for something trivial, like a bag of flour. This will briefly interrupt the situation and signal to those involved that you've noticed the altercation and are ready to get help if necessary. However, don't put yourself in danger.
