Mother's Day press release: More protection for mothers – protection from violence must take priority over custody and visitation rights

Berlin, May 07, 2025. Despite efforts to reform family law, women affected by violence continue to experience the need to maintain contact with perpetrators in the name of access rights – with serious consequences for their safety and that of their children.

The most recent reform proposals in child custody law explicitly addressed the issue of domestic violence for the first time. However, these reforms fell victim to the end of the coalition government, leaving the protection of women and children inadequate: courts and youth welfare offices continue to pursue the principle of joint parental custody and promote settlement processes – even where violence is documented.

"It is unacceptable that mothers are forced to maintain regular contact with violent fathers after separations. Protection from violence must finally be given priority," emphasizes Sibylle Schreiber, Managing Director of FHK.

An analysis of 154 family court cases published in November 2024 shows that in 19 of the cases examined, mothers and children were killed in connection with custody and visitation proceedings – for example, mothers and children were killed during visitation appointments, or the perpetrators killed their ex-partner or their children out of revenge because there would be custody proceedings.

In the overwhelming majority of cases, narratives such as “parental alienation” or alleged “mental disorders of the mother” are used to deprive mothers of custody or to enforce visitation under duress.

"Intra-family violence is too rarely considered in family court proceedings. Family courts must take measures that do not endanger the safety of mothers and children affected by violence, but in practice, we are far from achieving this," explains Stefanie Leich, Chair of the Board of Directors of FHK.

In the view of the FHK, previous reform initiatives in family law did not go far enough. There was a lack of clear legal provisions that consistently revoked custody and suspended visitation in cases of domestic violence or intimate partner violence. Perpetrator programs have not yet been made mandatory, and awareness-raising among the professionals involved remains patchy.

"As long as courts and youth welfare offices push for settlement and mediation instead of considering violence as an exclusion criterion for custody and visitation rights, mothers and children remain unprotected. We demand: Protection from violence must take precedence over parental rights," said Sibylle Schreiber.

Stefanie Leich adds:

"The shocking figures and case analyses show that the system is currently failing seriously. A fundamental change is needed: The protection of mothers and children must no longer be sacrificed to the ideal of mandatory joint custody and visitation rights. The new governing coalition must act decisively now."

FHK demands:

• Clear legal requirements: In cases of domestic violence, custody of the abusive parent must be withdrawn and contact can be suspended.
• Mandatory work with perpetrators: Contact with children may only be made possible after successful participation in recognized perpetrator programs.
• Mandatory training: Family courts, youth welfare offices, and those involved in proceedings must be trained on the forms and dynamics of violence in domestic violence.
• Thinking about child protection and women’s protection together: The Istanbul Convention must be taken into account and implemented in all family law proceedings.